quote - soldiers

God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers

ARCH OF HOPE FOR CHILDREN

this link--Arch of Hope for children--will take you to a different child abuse blog that has numerous articles, statistics, news clipping etc.  like this:

Sexual Abuse:

• Child rape occurs every two minutes
• 1 in 3 girls will be sexually molested before the age 17
• 1 in 6 boys will be sexually molested before the age 17 (1 in 5 in Canada)
• A sex offender will molest an average of 120 victims, most of whom do not report it
• 90% of molesters abuse children they know
• Oftentimes, a sexually abused child is abused in other ways

http://arkofhopeforchildren.org/contact-us/leads

I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH!

I LOVE YOU THAT MUCH

The water is rough..
the waves are high..
the force of the waves push me under over and over again...
  I fight with all my strength just to get to the surface..
  for one gasp of life saving air...
but the wave hits again...
and I fight once again for that gasp of air...
I fight you see...
over and over again...



but I get so tired..
until there is no strength left..
  year after year..
month after month..
day after day..
 minute after minute...
over and over and over again..

praying each moment for an end to the struggle...

going through the motions not knowing whats real and whats not.
relationships that don't truly exist disappear as if it never really was..

a mothers heart that's torn to shreds each and every day..
wondering what she did wrong?

Therapy ..
a long and drawn out process..
makes your relive each and every horrific moment.
.

the word love is tossed around like a balloon..
you scan the room to see if it's real or a fantasy in your own twisted mind..

nothing stops the noise inside..
  you toss and turn at night trying to quiet the noise....
you wake form vivid nightmares not knowing where you are..
on Thursday your wondering what happened on Wednesday..

and the the word love again..
"I love you that much"
and you wonder if not for yourself can you fight for those words..
"I love you that much"..

can you ?

Together.. I love you

Read more: http://bongoisme.blogspot.com/#ixzz36XTl45QD

UNHAPPIEST PPL

PUSH ON LINK AT THE BOTTOM TO GET TO ARTICLE AND WEBSITE

30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself

Remember today, for it is the beginning.
Today marks the start of a brave new future.
 

Our previous article, 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself, was well received by most of our readers, but several of you suggested that we follow it up with a list of things to start doing.  In one reader’s words, “I would love to see you revisit each of these 30 principles, but instead of presenting us with a ‘to-don’t’ list, present us with a ‘to-do’ list that we all can start working on today, together.”  Some folks, such as readers Danny Head and Satori Agape, actually took it one step further and emailed us their own revised ‘to-do’ versions of the list.
So I sat down last night with our original article and the two reader’s revisions as a guide, and a couple hours later finalized a new list of 30 things; which ended up being, I think, a perfect complement to the original.
Here it is, a positive ‘to-do’ list for the upcoming year – 30 things to start doing for yourself:

1. Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways.  They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2. Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them.  Problems will not disappear unless you take action.  Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done.  It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch.  These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3. Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed.  Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become.  Be honest with every aspect of your life, always.  Because you are the one person you can forever count on.  Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are.  Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter.  If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself.  Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you.  And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are.  Be yourself.  Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else.  Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms.  Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6. Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle.  Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you.  Right now is life.  So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future.  Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past.  Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening.  Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress.  If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning.  Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again.  Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving.  Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures.  One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8. Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?  The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.  You must love who you are or no one else will.
9. Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc.  Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind.  You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now.  So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10. Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out.  Smile because you can.  Choose happiness.  Be the change you want to see in the world.  Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow.  Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it.  If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it.  But if you constantly look for

something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.                                                                                                         
http://www.marcandangel.com/2011/12/18/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/30 things to start doing for yourself

5 Ways to Maintain Boundaries with Difficult People

By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
Associate Editor

Maintaining healthy boundaries with difficult people can be, well, difficult.
That’s because they don’t want you to have boundaries in the first place, said Julie de Azevedo Hanks, LCSW, founder and executive director of Wasatch Family Therapy, a private practice in Utah.
It may not be a conscious decision. “It’s often the only relationship strategy they know.” But regardless of whether it’s intentional, the result is the same: Your boundary has been violated.

How can you stand your ground? Here are five suggestions.

1. Realize that your needs are important.

“When you doubt your own importance, you’re allowing the manipulations of difficult people to gain a foothold,” said Ryan Howes, Ph.D, a clinical psychologist in Pasadena, Calif. However, when you understand that your time, money, dignity and needs are vital to your well-being, it’s easier to tune out people who want to break your boundaries, he said.
If you doubt your importance, he suggested the following:

• Be with people who value you. “Your social group is like a mirror, reflecting your value back to you.” You can surround yourself with selfish, difficult people who reflect you have little self-worth, which you eventually start to believe. Or you can surround yourself with caring, loving people and start believing that you’re also worthy of love and care, he said.

• See a therapist. Therapy helps you build self-worth and pinpoint the obstacles that prevent you from valuing yourself.

• Be objective. Create a list of the ways you make the world a better place, he said. For instance, you’re someone’s good friend, you make your spouse smile on a regular basis, and you’re committed to recycling. “Just being human means you deserve fundamental rights and respect, but if you look a little deeper you might find unique qualities you can appreciate about yourself.”

• Be fair. “If you believe all people deserve respect, this includes you. If you allow others to treat you like dirt, and you believe they’re entitled to do so, you’re not being fair.”

2. Be firm and kind.

Being firm doesn’t mean being callous, belittling or hurting another person, said Hanks, author of The Burnout Cure: An Emotional Survival Guide for Overwhelmed Women. “You can be firm and loving, firm and validating.”
For instance, you’ve gone on several dates with the same person, but you just don’t click. You let the person know, but they keep persisting and want to continue the relationship. According to Hanks, you might say: “I really enjoyed our time but I’m not interested in pursuing a relationship. Please don’t contact me. I wish you the best.”

3. Have realistic expectations.

“If you know the person is difficult for you to have a relationship with and doesn’t respect your boundaries, limit the amount of time, or the place of your interaction so you can have healthy boundaries,” said Hanks, who also pens the Psych Central blog Private Practice Toolbox.

4. Walk away.

“Many times it is important to confront difficult people to have a voice, stand up for yourself, and maybe even put them in their place,” said Howes, also author of the blog In Therapy. But sometimes walking away is a better approach.
He likened it to a tornado coming your way: Rather than face it, the best response is to retreat. Some people are simply too toxic to confront, he said.
If you’re talking on the phone, the equivalent is to end the conversation. In her clinical practice, Hanks often sees boundary violations play out with ex-spouses. For instance, your ex-husband calls to talk about your child. However, the conversation shifts, and he starts making derogatory remarks about your new boyfriend. You explain that your relationship isn’t up for discussion, but he continues to pry. That’s when you decide to hang up, Hanks said.

5. Remind yourself you’re in charge.

Remember that how you approach boundaries is really up to you. Difficult people want you to believe that you’re over-reacting, said Jan Black, author of Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life. Take the example of your brother regularly ridiculing your spiritual beliefs at family gatherings. When you ask him to stop, he says that you just don’t know how to take a joke.
“Do you grin and bear it? Stop going to family events if he’s there? Lash back at him about his lazy-ass efforts at getting a job? Invite him to breakfast to find out what it is about your spiritual beliefs that concern him? Write him a letter asking him to stop? Work out an agreement that signals him when he’s on the edge of going too far?”
Again, this is your decision – not his or the person who’s trying to cross your boundary, she said. Assess the situation and figure out how you’d like to enforce your limits.
Ultimately, when difficult people violate your boundaries, you can use it as an opportunity to better understand who you are and what’s important to you, and to “develop the voice to claim [your] territory and declare [your] value.”